Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The way you do anything is the way you do everything.

Recently I was reading a few post on social media and saw these words from a Football Coach/Business Leader that I admire and respect... "The way you do anything is the way you do everything." He posted the following pictures along with his statement.




"YES" was the immediate thought in my head after reading the statement and seeing these pictures. As a long time coach and "workout freak"  I have seen people/teams take pride in their facilities and equipment. On the flip side, I've also seen people/teams take little or no pride in their facilities and equipment.

That being said, the statement written by this coach goes much deeper than just the organization of kettle bells or the weight room. The real meaning here is that the way you complete any task, whether highly meaningful or seemingly menial, says a lot about who you are a as person. The way you complete any task most likely correlates with how much you care about something. Ultimately, the way you complete a task has an impact on your level of success in life.

Let's look at this when applied to some real life scenarios...


  • Messy room, house, or car= disorganization is everything you do.
  • Lazy, sloppy, and partial effort in practice= lazy, sloppy, and partial effort in a game or match.
  • Lazy, sloppy, and partial effort at work= lazy, sloppy, and partial effort in your work performance.

This list could go on and on to infinity.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about perfectionism. Perfectionism is not the goal or mandatory for success in life. Rather the goal is to do your absolute best in all situations, thus leading to success.

Today I'm asking you to keep in mind the wisdom of a highly successful coach and business leader...

"The way you do anything is the way you do everything."


God Bless,

Coach P

P.S. Here are some small action steps to get you headed in the right direction:

  • Make your bed
  • Clean out your car
  • Clean out and organize your refrigerator
These are all simple task that each of us can control and complete each day. They seem menial, but can get you going in the right direction toward completing the "meaningful" at a level beyond the average person. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Choose Your Mood

I'm coaching in the middle of the Kansas State High school wrestling tourney and one of my wrestlers loses a close match. About a minute later I'm walking down a narrow aisle when I run into a Coach I admire, Coach Charles Knox.

He says "Hey Coach, good to see you." Then gives me a handshake and hug like he always does when we cross paths. Upon backing away, Coach Knox says "Everything okay, you look mad."

Looking Mad

I told Coach Knox that one of my wrestlers had just lost a match and he said "I understand, I've been there."

We parted ways, but his words "You look mad" stuck in my head and wouldn't leave. At this point I knew a decision had to be made about how I was feeling and what message I was projecting onto others.

That's when the thought hit me... I'm going to choose to be happy right now!

In all honesty, I can't tell you that I'll ever be "happy" when one of my wrestlers loses a match. But I can tell you I have the ability to decide how long I let a negative emotion control me and hold me hostage. I can tell you that my perspective on a match and the right mental choice can put a smile back on my face.

Looking back at the match, I was proud of how my wrestler battled and left it on the mat. I also love that wrestler win or lose. So, why was I so mad and wearing a frown? 

There are two reasons I can think of right away:

1. Losing is not fun, never will be and that's that. 

2. I have trained my mind for years to utterly hate the feeling of losing and also to create a negative emotional state when a loss occurs.

The good news... there is hope! There is hope because I know if I can train my brain one way, then I can train it another way as well. Science has proven the mind is pliable and malleable. We can re-train our brain! This takes making a choice on our part and then acting upon it, which is not always easy, but is very possible.

I also know for certain that walking around mad doesn't do anyone any good. It makes me feel bad and others can sense the bad mood as well. I quickly realized that if Coach Knox could sense my bad mood, then my wrestlers can sense it as well (and that's not fair to them). They need their coach to be on top of his game and ready to help them succeed.

Okay, back to Coach Knox...

I'm walking down the same narrow aisle about 30 minutes after I first ran into Coach Knox and we had our brief conversation. This time he sees me and says "There it is, that smile is back! That's what I like to see Coach Parks!"

Now my brain starts running 100 miles per hour and I start thinking about how this situation connects to life outside of wrestling. 

We all have situations in life  that bring us down, make us mad, or evoke other negative emotions. When these situations happen, we have the power to make a choice. We can choose to stay in a negative state of mind and let it bring us down and also bring down those we are in contact with at the time. 

On the other hand, we can choose to let go of the negative emotion and be happy. I know this is easier said than done and it might be a situation much more serious than losing a wrestling match. But, the choice is still yours and you have to decide if you want to reside in a negative state of mind or rise above it. That's what it ultimately boils down to, it's your decision.

My hope is that someone reads this blog post today and makes a choice to let go of the anger, hurt, pain, fear or whatever negative emotion might be holding you hostage.

I hope you choose to be happy today and let the world say "There it is, that smile is back! That's what I like to see!"



God Bless,

Coach P

P.S. Thank You Coach Charles Knox, you are the man!

Coach Charles L. Knox

Saturday, March 15, 2014

No Excuses. No Explanations.

Super Bowl Winning Coach Tony Dungy is one of my favorite coaches of all time. His calm demeanor and quiet strength are traits I admire and work to develop in myself as a coach, teacher, husband, parent, etc.

Coach Dungy is also exceptionally quotable and his quotes often relate to sports and life in general. One of his quotes in particular has stuck with me since I first read it and keeps resurfacing in my mind. When that happens, I try to take heed and listen to what God is telling me personally or asking me to share in order to help someone else.

Here is the quote that keeps swimming laps around my brain..."No Excuses. No Explanations."

This quote is simple at first glance, yet it's meaning can fully impact your life. Below are two specific applications for  the "No Excuses. No Explanations." quote that can impact in your life in a positive manner today.

1. "No Excuses. No Explanations."- Every individual needs to take full responsibility for themselves in all areas of life. Good or bad, own your decisions and leave out the excuses. If you mess up, then be willing to step up to the plate and admit that you messed up. If you need to apologize for the mess up, then simply say "My bad, my fault, and I'm sorry." No excuses, no explanations, just own up and apologize.

2. "No Excuses. No Explanations."- There are times when you will need to make tough decisions in life that you feel are best for you, your family, your team , etc. These decisions may not be easy to make, they might not garner every one's support, and they might even bring ridicule your way. As long as you feel it is the correct decision, then don't fret and stick to your guns. You don't need to make excuses to appease others or try to explain yourself in order to win their approval. 

I have worked on applying this no excuses, no explanations mentality into my life for the last couple of years. It is not easy as human nature wants to make excuses, point the finger, or explain in detail so people understand. But, not everything worth doing is going to be easy. I can tell you with full certainty that developing this mentality in your own life will ultimately bring about more mental freedom. It will also allow you to be open, honest, and forthright with everyone around you. I think it might even be what some people would call...Growing Up.

My hope is that this blog post helps at least one person today that needs to hear and apply Coach Dungy's wisdom into their own life. No Excuses. No Explanations.


Putting in work, no excuses!

God Bless,

Coach P



Thursday, March 13, 2014

Build Your Inner Man Today

I don't know about you, but I personally love motivational books, music, and videos. I believe these are great tools a person can use to build up the inner man (aka Your thought life). Your inner man is extremely important and you must continually feed it with what you desire to become as a person.

Today I'm asking you to dedicate 6 minutes 30 seconds to watch the two videos below and Enjoy them! Take the time to build your inner man and then pay it forward to help others do the same!

)


God Bless,

Coach P

Monday, March 10, 2014

The Unconditional Love of a Dog!

When my wife Laurie and I were married in 2002, we rented an apartment for a year. Then we took a leap and bought our first house. During that time we decided that we didn't want to have children yet, but a pet could be a good place to start in adding more responsibility. We discussed the possibility of getting a dog or cat, but hadn't looked at any prospects as yet.

I can remember like it was yesterday the first time we had a prospective pet. It was summertime and I was a Kansas Wrestling National Team coach. We had just finished a week long training camp and were headed to Fargo, ND for the National Championships. A fellow coach and I both lived in Topeka, KS and decided to stop home for a couple of hours before making the long trek to Fargo. On the way to Topeka I called my wife and let her know I'd be home for dinner and to wash some practice gear. She informed me that she had a surprise at home that she was excited to show me.

In my mind I was expecting to come home and find some new furniture or something of that nature as we were fixing up our house. When I pulled into the drive I could hear my wife talking in the backyard, so I went through the gate to see her. Little did I know that a streak of golden fur would come sprinting at me with teeth bared and on a mission to take a hunk out of my leg. I started yelling at this vicious looking animal and then turned and headed for the gate. I made it out of the gate just in time to save my hind parts from a wicked looking set of teeth.

Once in the realm of safety, I heard my wife laughing and calling down this angry golden fur ball. Actually he was an angry golden ball of muscle covered with fur. That's the day I met our first "child", whom we later named Rocky (he was around a year old at the time).

One of Laurie's friends had found Rocky in an abandoned house, but she couldn't keep him  as she had three dogs of her own. Laurie had spoken with her once about the possibility of us getting a dog, so she called Laurie to see if we wanted this one. Laurie agreed to keep him for a couple of days while I was out of town as a test run. After I found out about this test run and sized up Rocky for a couple of hours, I told Laurie she could keep him while I was in Fargo and then we'd make a decision about him when I got home.

By the time I arrived home a week later, Laurie was in love and this doggy was part of the family. Luckily he decided he liked me as much as he liked Laurie and we became good friends. Rocky slept on the end of our bed, sat with me on the couch watching t.v., hung out outside while I landscaped the yard, wrestled, played soccer, and followed me everywhere around the house. Rocky was our four legged kiddo!

Fast forward 11 years to the present and life looks a little different around the Parks house. We have another dog (Bella...Rocky's partner in crime for the last 10 years), two cats, and three human children. We live in a different house and life is crazy busy. But through all the changes, Rocky has remained loyal, loves our family, and has been a rock for me... no pun intended.

That little guy (all 65 lbs of fast twitch muscle) gets excited every morning when he sees me and every evening when I arrive home from work. He wags his tail, gives me this silly puppy smile, and whines at me to come and pet him. He doesn't care if I have been neglecting him, If I've messed up that day, or if I'm feeling stressed out. He just knows that he loves me and thinks I'm pretty awesome.

I once saw this quote on a little chair pillow at my Uncle Tony Killscrow's house and I've never forgotten it...

"I wish I was half the man my dog thinks I am."

As soon as I saw that quote, I thought of my Rocky dog. I thought about how he loves me unconditionally and how that love makes me want to be more like him in a way. Don't get me wrong, I like being human and have no desire to be a dog. But, I want to have the ability to love unconditionally just like my dog loves me. I believe that God has given dogs this ability and allows us humans to connect with them in order to feel and see His love.

That my friends is the point of this blog post. We as humans can learn from one of God's coolest creatures. We can learn to love unconditionally and that in turn will make the world a better place. Our families, friendships, and work places would improve dramatically if we could learn to love others unconditionally like our dogs love us.

If you have a dog (or any pet) that you love, then I hope this post hits home with you. I hope that you will love that animal as it loves you. I also hope that you will apply that same kind of love to every area of your life and help make your world a better place.

This is dedicated to my Rocky who passed on to that other side on 3/9/14 at 12 years of age. We love you buddy and know that we will see you again one day in a place where unconditional love reigns supreme.

Rocky sleeping, wrestling, and dancing!

Rocky laying in the Sun with Kate.

Rocky and Bella looking like Wolves at Night
Beautiful Rocky :)


God Bless,

Coach P

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Invaluable time with 3 Wonderful Elders

During my childhood and into my teenage years I spent a lot of time mowing yards. My first mowing gig was at the age of 9 and it was for our high school principal. She lived across the street from my parents and was a great lady. My dad was a school teacher, so our family knew her well. 


That summer I wanted to attend a wrestling camp, but it was expensive. My dad told me I could go if I earned the money to pay for it. I'm guessing he didn't think I would pursue this any further, but he didn't know that I had developed a plan. I went across the street and made a deal with the principal. I would cut her yard all Summer if she would pay for my wrestling camp. She said yes and that was that!

Fast forward three years and I had built my mowing business into around twenty yards. My dad would drop me off on a block to mow a couple yards and he'd go to his Summer job, painting houses. Later he would come back to get me and drop me off at my next mowing location. Oh yeah, we didn't have a riding mower either. I cut all these yards with a push mower, used a weed eater to trim and edge, then a broom to sweep the sidewalks. We didn't have blowers back in those days.

By the time I graduated high school I had close to forty yards to mow and usually a couple of buddies that worked for me as well. I would workout in the morning, go mow, then paint with my dad, eat, sleep, and repeat. This allowed me to earn enough money to buy three trucks, pay for gas and insurance on these trucks, and also buy my school clothes, etc. Not to mention the fact that I learned great work ethic sweating away out there in that Northeastern Oklahoma sun and humidity all Summer. If that doesn't build a little grit into a person, then I'm not sure what does build it.

During all those years of hard work, lessons learned, and money earned, there was a side benefit that I never truly realized until I was an adult. That benefit is this... time with elders who built into my life with caring and wisdom. 

Many of the people I mowed for were elderly or at least what I considered advanced in age at that time (it's amazing how that perspective has changed as I've aged myself). These people became much more than mowing customers to me. They became mentors, friends, and what I consider family. They say it takes a village to raise a child and these individuals in our village modeled that in my life.

I mowed for a lot of people, but there are three that will always stick out in my mind because of the relationships we built. All three of these people were women that lived on my block and treated me like a grandson. They were beautiful human beings that had great influence on my life during my most impressionable years. Their love and wisdom is carried in my heart and hopefully passed on to others that I meet in this life. 

In their honor, I want to share a little about each and what they meant to me...

First is Mrs. Jackson, a feisty woman with the work ethic of a plow horse. Mrs. Jackson would work in her yard for hours on end, perfecting her flower beds and removing every weed on her property. I can still picture her sitting in the middle of her front yard, 80 years of age, wearing a large sun bonnet and picking weeds in 100 degree heat. We would say "Mrs. Jackson, you better get inside and get some rest." She would respond "I'll rest tonight when it's dark outside and I've had some dinner." Then she would go right back to work and make me question my own work ethic. 

When I finished mowing for Mrs. Jackson I would let her know so that she could pay me. She would always have me sit at her table and we would talk. She would tell me stories about life and lessons that I needed to know to help me live mine. After about 30 minutes of talking, I'd try to make my way to the door and head on home or to the next yard. Mrs. Jackson would almost always have me move a piece of furniture or fix something around her house before I left. Then she'd let me head home, but not until I took some pie or cake home for doing the extra work around the house. That lady could bake!

The second woman I want to tell you about is Mrs. Wade, also known as Granny Wade to all the kids in the neighborhood. I would always make sure to save Mrs. Wade's yard for the end of my work day. There were two reason's for this... one is that I lived two houses down from her, so I was almost home for the day. Reason number two is that when you work for Mrs. Wade, you are going to be there for awhile. 

Granny Wade would peek out of her curtains from time to time to check on me and make sure I was earning my keep. She never came outside while I mowed, but I knew that she was checking on me. When I had finished the job, I'd knock on the door and then sit in one of two chairs on her front porch. She would come outside and have a seat beside me and say "Did you get it all done son?" I'd respond "Yes Mam." Then she would look around the neighborhood and tell me about all had been going on around here. After that she would ask "Do you want a pop?" I don't drink pop, but you can't tell Granny Wade no, I mean you can, but she won't listen. She would go inside and minutes later return with an ice cold glass of Dr. Pepper for me. I'm not going to lie, that Dr. Pepper always tasted great after a hard days work. Most of the time I'd just drink out of people's water hoses when I finished mowing their yard. So this Dr. Pepper was a welcome change to garden hose water. 

Mrs. Wade is from the South and she has an unmatched way of telling stories. She would often tell me the same stories over and over, but I'd sit and be entertained at the manner in which she told them. Her slow drawn out sentences were comforting, no matter what we were talking about. Here is the other thing about Granny Wade, she treated me like Jesus treats me. She often told me and others that I was the perfect boy. One time when I was back home visiting as an adult, an elderly neighbor whom I'd never met called me over to her house. She said, I just want to meet this perfect boy that Granny Wade is always talking about. 

Now I can tell you with 100% certainty that I was no where near perfect and Granny Wade knew it. Her and my mom were good friends and my mom would often seek advice from Granny Wade on how to deal with me (I was a handful as a teenager). But Granny Wade had made a decision in her mind that no matter what I did, that's not who I was as a person. She decided that I was perfect and that she would treat me this way. Talk about making a difference in a young man's life, she did it. I say she treated me like Jesus would because He knows how messed up I am, yet he loves me as if I was perfect. Granny Wade was a picture of Jesus to me.

The third and final lady I want to tell you about is Mrs. Core. If God ever sent an Angel to earth in the form of a human, it was Mrs. Core. She might have been the sweetest person to ever live or at least the sweetest person I've ever met. I honestly don't think Mrs. Core could have went out into the rain without melting on the spot. 

Her and her husband Carl had always been like grandparents to me. They lived directly across the street from my parents (Carl still lives there) and were two of my favorite people in the world. The Core's yard was the smallest of all the yards that I mowed, yet they paid me more than anyone. Mrs. Core would pay me a little more each year and I couldn't talk her out of it. Their yard was small to mow because everything was landscaped, so there wasn't much grass. These two had turned their back yard into a Japanese garden sanctuary. I guarantee you that Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid would have been impressed with this backyard. I would actually sneak back there sometimes and just relax by their koi pond. It was the most beautiful yard I'd ever seen and it's the reason I love to landscape today. 

Mrs. Core would have me come inside after mowing and she'd write me a check. Then without fail she would ask me about life and somehow make me feel great, even if I was struggling. Mrs. Core would often pull out her Bible and say "Now Chad, that makes me think of a Scripture. God put this on my heart just for you honey." Then she would read me the scripture and it was always right on target. She would often pray with me and I'd walk out of her house feeling like God had just renewed my Spirit. As I stated earlier, Mrs. Core might have been an angel disguised as a human.

One time Mrs. Core gave me a little bag of rocks. I asked her what it was for and she said... "Chad, you are like David. David used his rocks to slay Goliath. I always want you to remember where your strength comes from and that God can use you mightily." She told me this as a Junior in high school when I was living like a heathen and far from being a man of God. But, Mrs. Core saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. She also had the guts to convey that message; I've never forgotten it and never will forget it. 

That's it. These three wonderful elderly ladies spent time with me and changed my life for the better. Here is what's funny, I had no idea that they were building into my life in such a positive manner. I knew I loved them, but sometimes I just wanted to go home to eat and rest after mowing their yards. Yet even when I felt this way inside, I still knew in the back of my mind that I needed time with them and that they needed time with me. Mrs. Jackson and Mrs. Wade were widows and didn't have a lot of visitors. They loved when me or my dad worked for them and they got a chance to visit. I always knew this and made time to sit with them after I finished my job. Mrs. Core had Carl and her daughter Carla, but she loved to visit any and everyone that walked through her door. 

Each of these beautiful ladies has now passed on and I'm certain are in Heaven with the Lord. I am so thankful for the time I spent with them and for the lessons they taught me. I would give anything to sit and talk with each of them just one more time. I'd give anything to hug them one last time and tell them that I love them. I can still feel each of their hugs and hear their voices. That's what's left and that's what I'll hold on to as long as I live. I'll also do my best to model what they taught me and represent the person that each of these ladies prayed and believed I'd become one day as a man. 

I encourage you to take time today to speak with an elder and see what lesson you might learn from them. This will not only be a Blessing for them, but for you as well. 


Carl and Lavern Core with my daughter Kate


God Bless,

Coach P



Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The Big Show

Every sporting event has what I like to call "The Big Show"! This is the end of the season Championship event and it's usually the top goal for teams and athletes alike. The Big Show is why we spend a season, a year, or half a life time preparing to compete at the highest level in our given sport. We all want to compete in and win "The Big Show".

I am a high school wrestling coach and we just returned from The Big Show, our high school state wrestling tournament. Our team performed very well at state and left this coach feeling happy about the season. We put two wrestlers in the State finals and one of them became our seventh State Champion in the last eight seasons. Yes, I am writing this with a large smile on my face right now as I reflect on that championship match and the tournament in general.

Honestly, I'd love to further elaborate upon the matches we wrestled at state. Especially the Semi-finals and finals matches. Those are always important and they will get your blood pumping, even if you don't understand wrestling. But, this blog post is not about individual matches or winning championships. What I really want to discuss is a mindset for athletes, coaches, parents, and fans when attending The Big Show.

Now is a good time to mention that as a coach I always feel a little conflicted going into The Big Show for two reasons. First, this will be the last time this exact team will compete together. Second, this will be the last time our Seniors will compete for our team. These facts can heighten emotions in an environment where emotions are already stimulated to the max.

The Big Show doesn't just affect the coach or athlete emotionally, it will bring about a roller-coaster of emotions for all involved. During these events you may experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows (I hope you get more highs than lows!). You will see dreams crushed and dreams fulfilled during championship events. Incredible athletes will sit defeated and crying from emotional pain, while others will jump into the stands victorious to hug theirs mothers... a moment of pure joy!

State Champion Tyson Toelkes hugging his Mom Jenna!

In the midst of all this chaos and bliss, I have found a simple perspective that can change this entire experience for the better. We have implemented this perspective with our athletes the last couple of seasons, and I try to keep it at the forefront of my mind as well.  Do you want to know this secret perspective? Here it is... enjoy every moment! Too simple and cliche right?

Let me give you an example of this perspective in action. I tell our wrestlers... "Enjoy every moment of the state tourney. This is the pinnacle of our sport and you need to enjoy it. You have an opportunity to fail and equally an opportunity to succeed. Either way, be thankful for the opportunity because not everyone gets this experience. Enjoy the hotel, the warm-up, every second of every match, the fans in the stands, etc. Really take the time to mentally enjoy every part of this experience." I believe this allows our wrestlers to relieve some of the pressure on their shoulders and ultimately perform at the top of their ability level. They no longer worry about the big picture, which can seem overwhelming. Rather they live in the moment and take everything one step at a time. They place their focus on enjoying everything their sport has to offer them as athletes and human beings. 

As a coach, I try to have the same perspective during The Big Show as I teach my athletes. Win or lose, I come with the mindset that I'm going to enjoy the opportunity to coach each of my athletes and my team. I am going to be grateful for each second I get with them and enjoy it to the fullest. I am going to enjoy coaching with a great coaching staff that has worked so hard. Now let me throw in a side note here... I'm not a robot and emotions sometimes get the best of me. It's worth mentioning that I also enjoy winning way more than losing, losing isn't fun. That being said, focusing on enjoying each moment regardless of the outcome has made coaching more enjoyable all around. It has allowed me to really appreciate the limited time I get with my athletes during their wrestling careers. Especially during our end of the season championship tournament. We only get four chances to experience this tournament, so we better make the most of it!

State Runner-Up Carter Hall full of Pure Joy after winning in the Semi-Finals!

There it is, a simple yet profoundly powerful perspective to "The Big Show" that can transform your experience for the better. If you are an athlete, coach, parent, or fan, this perspective can be utilized during your end of the season event. Actually, it goes much further than that event. This perspective can be practiced and carried over into every aspect of your life. So I encourage you to enjoy each moment to the fullest extent possible. 

This is life and just like in The Big Show, you will at some point experience the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. Your perspective in these moments will either improve the experience or make it worse. Choose today to enjoy each moment and do your best to live this life full of pure joy!


God Bless,

Coach P