"Blessing Marks"

(This is the first guest post by my lovely and intelligent wife Laurie. She's a bad mamajama!) 

I have been married for 11 ½ years and I am a mom of three children. It was a few months ago that I realized I had done the unthinkable…neglected to have professional family photos taken!  

Don’t get me wrong, I have had photos taken of my children, but never any PROFESSIONAL FAMILY photos.  For years, our family photo consisted of my sister taking a photo, usually with our iPhone. (Honestly with three kids, I am lucky to get out of the house with shoes on, let alone remember my nice camera.) We would all stand together and beg the kids to smile. Yelling “cheese” over and over, while my mom, or other family member, would hop around in the background trying to get their attention.

Exhibit A

I probably would have stayed in my “non-traditional, anti-family photo” mode, had it not been for my sweet friend Jacqueline. She was working on expanding her photography business and was looking for families to photograph. I hesitated at her offer, but eventually accepted for three reasons. 

First, Jacqueline is one of those people that would do anything to help a friend. If letting her take photos of my family helps her business, I’m in. Second, she is a joy to be around. This gave me an excuse to see her, even if it was only for a few hours. Third, my kids and husband are drop-dead gorgeous. I was causing a major disservice to them and our Facebook community by not allowing them to be photographed.  (Me? A little biased?  Duh!)

After completing the photo session, Jacqueline said she would have the photos edited within a few weeks.  My husband Chad and I were like two kids at Christmas, anxiously waiting to see the finished product. I was in bed when the first two “sneak-peak” photos popped up on my Facebook notifications. I was overcome with so much joy as I looked into the eyes of these precious, perfect babies staring back at me. 

Everything was beautiful about these photos and I studied each in detail. I memorized each photo! Every line of their face, every precious dimple, every hair out of place that somehow managed to look perfect. Every long dark eyelash and crooked little tooth. Every brilliant shade of those insanely gorgeous blue eyes and every cracked little lip (cause her Mommy forgot to pack the Chap Stick). The more I gazed at these perfect little faces, the more obsessed I was to see more. I just knew our entire family portfolio was going to be exactly like these…perfect. 

          

A few days later, we were sent another “sneak-peak” photo. This time, it was a photo of the girls and me.  Now before I discuss the photo, let me be real with you. I hate having my photo taken as I am rarely satisfied with what I see. Here is my internal dialog when I look at a photo of myself... “I look too pale.  Why does my head look so big?  My hair looks too flat/puffy/greasy/grey etc. Why didn't someone tell me how ugly that outfit is?  My nose is so long, I’m surprised I haven’t poked Chad’s eye out! That angle makes my stomach pooch look like I am pregnant. Is my butt really that big?”  

Now, I know all of those statements are silly and vain, and I’m not proud of them. However, those are the lies that I heard in my head. 

Okay, back to the photo. I click on the image to enlarge it. I begin to examine it, just as I had done with the previous photos of my daughters. Next, I zoom in on my face and sit stunned, thinking...“Who is that old lady? What happened to my eyes?!?!  My eye lids are all droopy!  And, what’s with all the wrinkles and lines?  When did that happen?!?!”  I looked at the photo at few more moments, then quietly said to myself, “Well, at least my teeth look really white.” (spoken like a true Dentists daughter)     

The next day I decided to view the photo on my computer instead of my phone. I enlarged the photo to full-screen size so I could really study it. The photo had been on my mind all day.  As I looked, I still saw the wrinkles and lines. Only now, they were enlarged to full-screen size!  

It was in that moment, that I felt the Lord speaking to me. “My beautiful, precious child. I love you no matter what. I look at you the same way you look at the photos of your girls. I know every line of your face.  Every color in your eyes.  Every hair on your head.  Every tone of your skin.  Every smile line.  Every laugh line.  My love for you is endless, pure, and perfect.”  

As I let the truth set in, I began to look at the photo differently. Those lines and wrinkles didn't symbolize old age and ugliness. No! They symbolized years of blessings and unending love from my savior, Jesus Christ! In that moment, a new joy and perspective came over my heart. What a beautiful photo of a mother and her precious children!  My face full of pure joy, as my sweet daughters bless me with kisses. Just as I believed my photos would be...perfect. 

Now when I look at this photo, I see what I have dubbed “my blessing marks” and what those lines symbolize. Those lines symbolize the grace God has shown me, in my hours of despair. The forgiveness He has given me, when no one else would or could. The gift He has given me in my husband, who helped save my spiritual life. The comfort He has given me with the unexpected loss of a child. The joy He has given me as we welcomed three beautiful children into this world. The passion He has given me for my husband, children and family.  Finally, the greatest blessing of all, my salvation. 

It is my prayer that when you look at your “blessing marks,” you are reminded of how much Jesus loves you and you can say, “Jesus loves me, wrinkles and all.”

May God Bless You,

Laurie