Happy

You can't always choose your circumstances in life, but you can choose your attitude in the midst of those circumstances.

Today I dare you to be Happy! Speak these words in your mind and aloud... "I AM HAPPY!"
Put a smile on your face and make the decision to be happy.

Watch the video below to get you going in the right direction. If it doesn't put a smile on your face, then you might need to check your ticker and make sure it's still functioning. Clap along and Be Happy! Maybe even get up and dance a little too. It's hard not to dance to this jam...

God Bless,

Coach P

Parents of Athletes

I'm a long time athlete, coach, and physical education teacher. Needless to say, I know a little something about sports. 

One very important part of sports is the relationship between an athlete and parents. So on that note, I want to share two excellent statements from top notch coaches on this subject. 

The first statement is from Coach Cael Sanderson. Coach Sanderson is a four time NCAA wrestling champion, an Olympic Wrestling Champion, and has coached his Penn State wrestling team to three consecutive D1 National Titles. 

When asked what advice he gives parents to help their athletes succeed, this was a part of his response...

I tell them that the biggest mistake parents can make with their children in athletics (or anything for that matter) is to blur the lines between why they support and love them. It is very easy for kids to mistake why a parent is proud of them. Kids need to know that their parents love them just because they are their son or daughter.


To help kids reach their greatest potential, they need to know that their parents support their effort--not whether they win or lose. A lot of parents give their kids the impression that they are only proud of them if they win.

Parents are the most important people in the world to their kids.
If a kid thinks he has to win to make his parents proud of him--that is a ton of pressure. In my opinion, that is the greatest pressure in the world, especially for a kid. A parent not being proud of you is far more frightening then the scariest opponent. Most kids won't last long in sports in that kind of environment. And the kids who do tough it out, or have no choice, are usually the ones who develop mental problems. They are the ones who usually end up being labeled "head cases." The kids whose parents simply expect their best effort in training and in competition are the ones who have the better chance of reaching their potential. 

Nick pointing to his Awesome Mom and Dad after Winning a State Championship!

That is incredible advice from one of the greatest coaches of all time. I agree 100% with Coach Sanderson's advice. Parents must let their athletes know that they love them for who they are and not how they perform. Young athletes can blur these two easily and feel they are only loved if they perform well and win.

This second statement is from long time Coach Bruce Brown. Coach Brown has coached at the middle school, high school, and college levels. He is the director of Proactive Sports and travels the country speaking to various groups about youth sports. 

Bruce's core message is as follows...

If your kid’s goal (for playing sports) is different from your goal… then throw your goal away and adopt your child's. Sports are the safest place for your kid to take the inevitable risks that adolescents will seek out – so let them go and make their mistakes in sports! 

Coach Brown and his associates have conducted numerous studies using athletes of all levels. One of the these studies asked the athlete "What do you want your parents to say to you after a game?"

The resounding answer given by the overwhelming majority of these athletes is very simple and incredibly profound. All that needs to be said after any youth sporting event or game is: 

“I love watching you play; I love watching you be part of a team.”

That's it. Not discussion of the game, not advice, but simply "I love watching you play".

There it is in as concise of a blog post as I can write over such an elaborate topic. The two powerful statements above come from men who have been top notch athletes and coaches. They have years of wisdom and knowledge to share with the public. 

My hope in writing this blog post is to help at least one parent (or many parents) as you watch your child compete in sports. Remember to let your child know that you love them no matter how they perform in their given sport. Also let them know that you love watching them play, no strings attached. 


God Bless,

Coach P


P.S. I'll add one personal story from my own athletic career. As a freshman in college I had been named the starter at my weight class. Two days later I was injured in practice and feeling devastated. I called my Dad and he said these words that changed my wrestling career... "Chad you don't have to wrestle. You can come back to Oklahoma and go to a school closer to home."

Hearing my Dad say that I didn't have to wrestle lifted a 1000 pound weight off my shoulders that I had been carrying for years. As a Hall of Fame coaches son I was expected to wrestle. I was good at it, but the pressure was tremendous and I felt I had to wrestle to make others proud of me. When my Dad told me that I had an option, something in my brain clicked. I thought to myself "I don't have to wrestle because anyone else wants me to wrestle. I can wrestle because I want to wrestle and my Dad loves me either way."

You see, he had always loved me, but I felt I needed to impress him by winning all the time. When I realized that didn't matter to him, then I became a better wrestler. I found the passion that I had as a youth and went on to become a College All-American!

The Pebble in Your Shoe

It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe. -Muhammad Ali

The small things in life really do matter. Small disciplines repeated daily can lead to great success. On the flip side, small disciplines neglected daily can lead to epic failure. 

Let me share an example with you from my own life. I know without a doubt that my day runs smoother if I get up in the morning and complete the following tasks... 1. Write in my gratitude journal 2. Read my daily devotional.

Those are two very easy tasks to complete each morning and they get my mind moving in the right direction. They are small disciplines, yet have a big impact on my day. But sometimes I wake up, get lazy, and don't write in my gratitude journal or read my devotional. If I'm not careful, I'll look up and three days have passed where I have neglected these simple disciplines. When that happens, everyone in my household is affected in a negative manner (I'm certain my wife would attest to this if anyone asked her).

I sympathize with Paul's statement in Romans 7:15: I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

Now let me ask you... What seemingly small disciplines do you need to focus on each day to become the best you possible? Do you have a mountain you need to scale, but the pebble in your shoe is holding you back? 

If this is the case, then decide today that you will take care of the small disciplines in order to succeed in life's Big tasks!

God Bless,

Coach P

What is a Coach's Job?

Super Bowl winning Coach Tony Dungy tells a great story about his first year as an assistant coach in the NFL. He was hired to coach for the Pittsburgh Steelers under Hall of Fame Coach Chuck Noll.

During his first day on the job, Coach Dungy said to Coach Noll... "What am I supposed to to do? I don't know how to be a coach." 

Coach Noll's response was... "Make the Players better, that's your job Tony."

Wow! As a long time coach and also a coaches son, I love that the job description for coaching can be boiled down to this simple phrase "Make the Players better".  Perfectly simple, yet so profound.

Every coach should be given and heed such incredible advice. The coaches job is not be become a legend like Coach Noll or Coach Dungy. Their job is not to win the coach of the year award (I have done that and it's not that cool). Their job is simply to help their players get better and become all that they can be in sports and life. 

This lesson applies to realms outside of sports as well. Let's look at a couple of examples of this principle applied outside of sports. 

As a parent our job is to help our children become the best humans they can be in this life. We are given the responsibility of building our children up and helping them realize their full potential. Teachers are there to help their students earn A's. It's not to be the toughest teacher, the hardest, or even the smartest teacher. Teachers should help their students become better at learning. 

A boss needs to help his employees become better at their jobs. Leaders need to help those they lead to become better in their particular field of interest. The list could go on and on and apply to most real life situations. 

My question for you is this... "Will you help make someone better today?"

I hope your answer is a resounding YES. In the process of helping someone else become better, you will get better as well. 

Thank You Coach Noll and Coach Dungy for teaching and sharing lessons with your teams and the rest of the world. In doing so, you have once again helped someone become better today! I feel I am better today from having heard and employing this advice. 

God Bless,

Coach P

UP PEOPLE

"If we don't think right, we don't act right. When we don't act right, then we don't attract the right people into our lives." -Mike Wade

I ask you to ponder the following questions:

Who do you hang around?

What books do you read?

What shows do you watch?

What music are you listening to?

Personally, I like Up people, Up books, Up music, and Up t.v. When I say "UP", I am referring to that which is uplifting and will build your inner man. When you fill your mind with Up, then your attitude will be Up as well.

On the flip side there are people, books, music, and t.v out there that are real downers. When you hang out with downers and fill your mind with down, then your attitude will be down. 

Each of the areas mentioned above influence how we think. How we think influences our actions. Our actions determine the kind of person we are and therefore the kind of person we attract. What we put in is what will eventually come out. 

Here's what's great about all of this... You have a choice in the matter! You can choose who you kick it with on a daily basis. You can choose the books you read, the music you listen to, and the t.v. you watch. Since you can choose and these choices influence the person you are and will become, then choose that which builds you UP! 

UP PEOPLE!

God Bless,


Coach P

Act as If

Maybe you have heard or spoken the following phrases...

Fake it until you make it.

Bluff until you believe.

Act as if.

I believe each of these phrases has validity and the same basic meaning. In the most generic sense, they are saying that you might not feel 100 % prepared or ready, but you need to get in there and do it anyway. 

The fact is this, we can try all we want, but there is no possible way to prepare for everything you may encounter in this life. There is really no way to prepare for what we encounter each and every day. But that doesn't mean that you should shy away or back down because you don't feel 100% ready. 

Sometimes life will present situations that make you nervous, scared, or feeling ill prepared. When you encounter these kinds of situations, you have two choices...You can turn and run or you can face the situation and give your all. 

Think about when the young boy David faced the Champion Warrior Goliath. I mean, David was prepared since he was a world class marksmen with a sling and a stone. David also knew he had God on his side to help out in this time of need. But, David had not been in this exact situation before in his young life. He had battled wild animals, but never a Giant warrior that was threatening his entire country and way of life. If anyone had a time to be scared and run away, this was it. 

Yet David stood tall and acted as if he was going to be victorious. Maybe he even bluffed until he believed in his own mind that he was about to dish out a mega beat down on this crazy giant. I don't know exactly how David felt in the moment of battle against Goliath. But I do know that he stepped out in Faith and made a choice to do his best instead of tucking his tail and running for the hills.  

Today I want you to be like David and let go of the doubts that can cause you to freeze in your tracks or turn and run. Make a choice to face your fears and take a leap of Faith. Know that you may not feel 100% prepared in all situations, but that doesn't mean you won't succeed.

When you make the choice to get into action despite your feelings, then you will realize that you are no long acting, faking, or bluffing, but you are succeeding! You will stand victorious on the battlefield of life and know that you have taken down the giant that was coming against you. 

You are a Champion, so act like it today!

God Bless,

Coach P

Shoveling into the Wind

Okay, I'll admit that shoveling a foot of snow off my driveway during a 20 mph wind is not my brightest idea. Oh yeah, it is also still snowing and covering up my handy work.

Yet there are some lessons to be learned while shoveling snow in less than ideal conditions. Let's look at these as Actions and Lessons...

• Action: Get started.
• Lesson: Getting started and taking action is the first step toward reaching a goal or finishing a project.
• Action: Shoveling into the wind is a bad idea and your face will not be happy about it. 
• Lesson: Sometimes in life you must go against the grain to make some headway.
• Action: Shoveling with the wind is smarter and more effective.
• Lesson: Never go against the grain just to go against the grain. Take actions that make sense and help you reach your goals.
• Action: Shoveling snow while the snow is still coming down.
• Lesson: There are times in life that you must take action, even if it doesn't seem to make sense at the time. Ultimately you must look down the road and realize that what you are doing now will pay off in the future. It may be hard and you may wonder if it's even worth it, but your hard work now will pay off later.
• Action: Finishing the job.
• Lesson: When you are grinding away, yet it feels like you are going no where, just finish. You must determine in your head that you will not stop until the job is complete. Weak and average people give up and you are neither of those.

There you have it, a few lessons to take away from doing work during Snowpocalypse 2014. These lessons can be applied to all areas of life. They are about far more than shoveling snow in the wind. They are about actions and lessons that apply to marriage, parenting, business, coaching, and life. Now get out there and shovel some snow people!

Stay warm and God Bless,

Coach P

Small Town Values

I grew up in a one horse town. Okay, actually it has a lot of horses, but only one stop light. When I was a kid that stop light had three colors. Today it just flashes red, I'm not sure where green and yellow went. 

Anyway, I love that one stop light town. That area of Oklahoma is called "Green Country", but we call it "God's Country". This is just a gut feeling, but I think God calls it that too. 

There are so many things I can and most likely will write about my hometown of Pawhuska, OK. However, what I am writing about today is not so much about the town as it is the values I learned growing up there. These values are not exclusive to Pawhuska or small towns in general. But, these are values that I learned growing up in a small town and still try to employ in my life today (even while living in a large city).

Below is a list of values that I learned in Pawhuska, OK and truly appreciate today...

• People wave at you. I know that's weird right. I have lived in a large city long enough that I forget about waving at people, especially when driving. Then I pass through a small town or visit back home and get caught off guard. You know the situation... You are driving down the road and someone passes by and they wave as they pass. You see the wave, but see it too late to react. Then you try to get in a quick wave, but you know they didn't see your return wave. I'm kind of glad that we don't wave in the city though, there are a lot of people and that would get exhausting. That being said, I miss the friendliness of a good ole wave. 
• Shaking hands. People in small towns still shake your hand as a greeting, parting gesture, or to seal a deal. This is a part of life that all people, especially men should hold in high regard. 
• The use of Sir or Mam. People in small towns often say "Yes Sir or Yes Mam". These terms are used when addressing those you respect, especially your elders. Personally, I highly respect people that use these terms when speaking to others. 
• Opening doors for Women and Elders. It is a common practice in small towns to hold open the door for women or anyone that is your elder. Not only holding open doors, but opening car doors as well. My daughters will not date a guy that doesn't open the door for them (when they are old enough to date at the age of 21).
• Taking off your hat indoors. It is a sign of respect to take off your hat indoors. This is especially true when entering a persons house, a restaurant, and a Church. 
• Respecting elders. This includes many of the acts mentioned above and more. Also acts like moving over on the sidewalk to let an elder walk by. Listening when an elder talks to you without interrupting them. Helping an elder with anything you see they might need help with on a daily basis. This could mean helping them put away groceries, crossing the street, or taking the newspaper up to their front door from the driveway. You always clean the snow off the driveway of an elder that might have trouble doing it themselves. 

Those are just a few of the values that I learned growing up in "God's Country." I know that these values have helped me in life and I plan to teach them to my children as well.  

What are some values you have learned that need to be passed on to future generations?

God Bless,


Coach P

P.S. Thanks to my cousin Bobby Harris for helping contribute thoughts to the above list.

My family walking in downtown Pawhuska, OK.

The Power of a Good Song

I love music! I don't seem to be musically inclined in anyway, but I love music.

One of the things that I love is how a good song can evoke a strong memory. This has happened to me twice in the last month, so I figured I'd write about it. 

The first time this happened last month was with a song called "Love" by an artist know as Musiq. My friend Derek and I were talking about a song on the radio as we traveled back from a wrestling tournament (we both coach wrestling). The conversation made me think of a song by Musiq, so I pulled it up on my phone for Derek to listen too. When that song finished, the next song on that album started and it was Musiq's hit song "Love."

Upon hearing the song, I was immediately transported from the vehicle I was driving and into a wrestling room in Indianapolis, Indiana. I could feel, smell, and see the wrestling room. I could see myself in sweats, my hoodie over my head and jumping rope. I was back in that room cutting weight for a college wrestling tournament called the Midwest Classic which started the next day. My body was tired, hurting, and I was feeling drained. All the sudden, a new song comes on the radio that brings me out of this state of fatigue and into a state of joy and strength. Listen to the song here...

I know, not what you'd expect a tough college wrestler to get excited about. Well, I love soul music and it speaks to me. This song spoke right to my heart that night while cutting weight and preparing to battle on the mats the next day. (By the way, I had a great tournament.Thank You Musiq!)

The other song that drove me down memory lane last month is an old hymnal named "Jesus Paid it All". This is a song that we used to sing in Church when I was younger, but I hadn't heard it in years. 

The church I attend has very contemporary praise and worship (which is Awesome, thank you Adam!). But a couple Sunday's ago we sang the hymnal "Jesus Paid it All". I'd guess we were about 20 seconds into the song, when all the sudden I sitting with my Grandmother back in my hometown Church of the Nazarene in Pawhuska, OK. I could see her sitting there and praising her Lord (as I had witnessed so many times before). I could feel my grandma and see her so clearly. To be honest, I started crying immediately. When the song came to a close, I realized I was not sitting with my grandmother back in my hometown Church. I was sitting in Church with my wife and our Journey Church family in Topeka. But, the feelings that song brought to life were amazing and I am thankful. My grandmother passed away when I was a Sophomore in college. So getting the memory that song brought back at least let me have a glimpse of her again. 

That is the power of a good song.

What song brings back good memories for you? 

I encourage you to write down a memory or two that a song has brought to mind. I also encourage you to share those memories with someone today.

God Bless,


Coach P