Faith and Fear

Maybe it's just me, but every now and then I have irrational fears. Case and point...

I'm running on a gravel road near my house a couple of days ago and impulsively decide I want to go off road. So I leave the road and start running across a large field, which at this point is covered in about 4 inches of snow. As I'm running across the field (struggling in the snow and recently turned over dirt) I suddenly have this thought... "What if a mountain lion is watching me right now." 

At that point I realize that I'm directly in the middle of the field and it's bordered by woods on both sides. If a mountain lion decides to chase me, I'm in trouble. 

Well, I'm happy to report that I made it out mountain lion free! 

Why did this fear pop into my head in the middle of my run? I have no idea, no idea at all. What I do know is that this was an irrational fear that was trying to attack my mind and drag me down. So, I quickly replaced the fear with thoughts of faith (positive self talk) and finished what was a very good workout. 

I share this story because I want you to know an interesting fact... Faith and fear are under the same umbrella. They are both predicated upon something that has yet to happen!

Let's look at your life, what are you afraid of right now? Is your fear legitimate or is it false evidence appearing real? 

We all deal with fear in some form or another. Fear of failing, fear of loss, fear of success, etc. But, most of the time our fears are irrational and they are an energy drain. 

Do you know that it takes the same amount of mental energy to have faith as it does to have fear? You get to choose which thought you want to keep in your mind and dwell upon. For example, you can fear failure or you can have faith that you will succeed. You can fear you'll lose your job or you can have faith that you'll not only keep your job, but get a promotion. 

Today I want you to choose faith and let it replace the fears that try and attack your mind and drag you down. Make a decision that you'll be daring enough to fill your mind with thoughts of faith and let go of the fears that freeze you in your tracks. You have the power to choose today, so choose FAITH!

Ha ha. You're about to get Faith Smacked!

God Bless,


Coach P

P.S. Here are a couple of great Scriptures that speak on Faith and fear. 

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. - 2 Timothy 1:7

Dealing with a Lack of Confidence and Defeating Doubt- Part 2

Welcome to part two of my series on dealing with a lack of confidence and defeating doubt. If you didn't get the opportunity to read part one, then feel free to do so by clicking here!

In this second instalment of the series, I want to share with you a technique that I have used for years as an athlete and coach to improve confidence and belief. This particular technique is called positive self talk. 

Could Stuart have been onto something?

:)  Stuart Smalley


But Seriously, Positive Self Talk... It Works!

Do you ever think about what you are thinking about? 

Do you realize you get to choose what you are thinking about? 

Let's take a look at these scientific statistics on human thoughts:

We have...

60,000 thoughts per day = one thought per second per waking hour. 
95% of those are the same thoughts you had yesterday. 
80% of THOSE thoughts (or 45,000!! per day) are negative. 

Okay, I'm not sure how all this was tracked or if it's 100% accurate (How does one track the number of thoughts?). What I am sure of is that we all have negative thoughts and they create doubt and low confidence levels. I'm also sure that we have the power to do something about this situation. 

Maybe you have seen the Facebook posting or email that makes it's rounds from time to time about "The Two Wolves". If you haven't, let me give you the gist of the story... There are two wolves and the one you feed grows while the other withers away. 

Our thought life is the same, what we feed grows and what we starve withers away. This means we have to feed our mind positive thoughts and starve the negative thoughts. This is not easy, but it can be accomplished when you get intentional about what you are thinking. 

This is where positive self talk comes into play. So, what is positive self talk and how is it used?

Positive self talk is simple little statements, spoken aloud,  that can make a major impact on your thought life and confidence levels. Here are  few examples I use with my athletes (they say these aloud during practice, before competition, etc).

• I'm too fast
• I'm too strong
• No one out works me
• I can do this
• My technique is incredible
• I am the Best

Simple right? Yes! These are simple statements that when thought upon and spoken aloud, have a major positive impact on your thought life. You see, you can't have two thoughts at the same time. So when a positive thought is in place, then there is no room for the negative. Now speak that positive thought out loud and it gains the power to change your world. 

Insert Cool story moment... 

Yesterday we were at wrestling practice (I'm a high school wrestling coach) and one of our former State Champion Wrestlers was in the room visiting. This young man (Chris Holly) was also an exceptional high school football player, wrestler, and track athlete. As a matter of fact, he went on to compete as a College track athlete and became a National Champion in the Hammer Throw! Chris is currently working on his Master's degree and becoming an Officer in the Military. 

I asked Chris to speak to our wrestlers and share any words of wisdom or advice that he wanted to pass on. He shared some excellent advice and then I asked him to share any tips he used to perform at his highest levels (like in becoming a National Champ).

Chris told our team "My number one tip is Positive Self Talk". Wait, did he know I was writing this blog post? 

Then he went on to say "I learned positive self talk here in this wrestling program. I used it as a high school athlete, college athlete, and today when leading my battalion on  mission. I say aloud... I am prepared. I have what it takes to succeed. I have worked my hardest. I can do this! I can, I can, I can!"

Wow! Hearing this successful young man speak about positive self talk strengthened my belief in it even further.  The proof is in the pudding and Chris is great proof to me (he definitely isn't pudding). 

There you have it, the power of positive self talk! This is an excellent technique to put into practice in any area of your life. Warning! You must be intentional about practicing positive self talk until it becomes habitual for you. Since negative thoughts are running rampant through your brain, it's not natural at first to use positive self talk. But, when put into practice, positive self talk will increase your confidence and defeat the doubt that prey's on your mind.

I must add one piece of information in closing out this blog post. I am a Christian and believe the Bible. So, I use a lot of scripture to strengthen my positive self talk. That way I'm not only strengthening my mind with my thoughts and words, but with God's word (the ultimate weapon to improve confidence and defeat doubt!). 

Your Challenge: Invest yourself in preparation and practice positive self talk to improve confidence and defeat doubt!

God Bless,

Coach P

"Train from the inside out!"

Dealing with a Lack of Confidence and Defeating Doubt- Part 1

Confidence and belief influence many areas of our lives on a daily basis. Conversely, so does a lack of confidence and doubt. 

This being stated, how does one build confidence and defeat the doubt that lingers in the mind? 

Whew... good question.

Through my 30 some years in competitive athletics (as an athlete and coach), I have picked up information that I feel might help answer the above question. I won't get into all the information or techniques I have learned and use, but I will address a couple that cover a lot of ground. In this particular post I want discuss one area that carries a lot of weight when it comes to dealing with confidence and doubt.

Preparation!

One of the most important factors in building confidence and negating doubt is Preparation. Let me use the sport of wrestling as an example in addressing preparation. When I was a competitive college wrestler preparation played a huge role in my confidence during competition.

As college athletes, we always worked our tails off in pre-season training. We would get into good shape by lifting weights and running five days per week. But, good shape is not wrestling shape! Wrestling shape is a beast unto itself (that's the nature of the sport) and requires a lot of actual mat time to achieve. Pre-season was good preparation, but it just wasn't enough for the requirements of the actual competition season.

Early in each wrestling competition season I would work hard, yet I wasn't in great wrestling shape. This in turn caused a lack of confidence during matches and created doubt in my mind. I would still perform well, but I wasn't performing at my highest level. Why? The answer is simple, lack of preparation breeds a lack of confidence and doubt. 

Here is the good news... As the season went on and I got into great wrestling shape, my confidence levels rose. This can be directly correlated with the amount of preparation that was taking place on the mats each day. As I prepared in practice, my confidence rose, doubt subsided, and I performed toward the top end of my ability. 

Preparation breeds confidence and belief. In other words... Preparation increases confidence and defeats doubt!

This lesson applies to many areas of our lives. In order to increase confidence and remove doubt in athletics, business, relationships, etc, we need to be willing to invest ourselves in the process of preparation. When we decide to make preparation an important part of our lives, then our confidence goes up, doubt fades, and we are able to perform tasks at the top of our ability levels. 

Coach Bear Bryant knew the importance of preparation very well...

"It's not the will to win that matters - everyone has that. It's the will to prepare to win that matters." -- Paul "Bear" Bryant

Stay tuned for part 2 of this series as I will share a technique to help increase confidence and remove doubt from your mind. Until next time...


God Bless,

Coach P

"Train from the inside out." 

If Nothing Changes

December 26th, the day after Christmas. 

This morning I was running some errands and the thought crossed my mind... "So many people are back to work today, back on the grind." That's life right, not every day is a Holiday. 

That statement is true, but how many people don't want to be back on the grind? I mean, they don't mind hard work, but what they are currently doing isn't working. They are grinding day in and day out and nothing is getting better. They are broke, overweight, angry, having trouble being the parents they want to be, etc.

The little voice in their head is saying "There has to be more to life than this. I know I am made for more than my current situation reflects."

If you are one of those people, then I want to share a piece of advice that is so simple, yet so profound. 

Get ready for it...

IF NOTHING CHANGES, THEN NOTHING CHANGES.

You see, if you keep doing what you have always done, then you'll keep getting the same results that you have always gotten. If anything is going to be different, changes have to be made (great time to insert some Sam Cooke A Change is Gonna Come ).

So, as you reflect upon your year and maybe make some New Years Resolutions, think about this... "Am I really willing to make the necessary changes that need to be made to become who I want to be in this life?" If the answer is yes, then Go for it! Don't just talk about it either, truly be about it. Write down your goals, write down the steps necessary to reach your goals. Reach out for help and let others guide you in the areas where you need to change. Make up your mind that this is gonna happen, it's your time for positive change!

That being said, you need to know this... Change takes courage. Fear will rear it's ugly head and try it's best to keep you from making changes that lead to a better you. Don't listen to fear today! Take the advice of Nelson Mandela  when he said the following " I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers fear." 

Let me encourage you to overcome fear and go after your goals. Step up and decide that you will change for the better, Starting Now! Don't put off until tomorrow what can be started today! Remember, IF NOTHING CHANGES, THEN NOTHING CHANGES!


God Bless,

Coach P

"I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary." -Lou Holtz

What's Your Passion?

How many people have the guts or audacity to pursue their passion? 

My best guess, very few.

It is my belief that all people have at least one area that they are truly passionate about in life. That thing that excites, drives, motivates, and invigorates them like nothing else. If they could, they would make a living pursuing and sharing their passion daily.

This thought process reminds me of my Grandfather Charles Morgan. Grandpa Morgan loved animals of all kinds. We'd visit his house on Holidays and it was like a Zoo, the original "We Bought a Zoo"! Okay, he didn't have any Big Cats, but he had a lot of dogs and beautiful horses.

Grandpa Morgan loved horses and he raised them for a living. His passion was horses and in particular, Appaloosa horses. He loved these horses enough to buy them, raise them, and make his living off of them.

You know what I love about the fact that he raised Appaloosa horses? Grandpa Morgan had the guts to pursue his passion! He had the audacity to look life in the eye and say "This may not be easy, I might not make much money, but I get to do what I love!" 

My question for you is this... "Are you pursuing your passion and doing what you love?" If the answer is Yes, then good for you, keep it up! If the answer is No, then let me ask... why not? 

Today I challenge you to step up and pursue your passion! Be like my Grandpa Morgan and do what you love in life. If you do this right, you may have a job, yet never have to work a day in your life!

Below is an excellent video about pursuing your passion. Please take the time to watch and let yourself be inspired today.

Pursue Your Passion!

God Bless,

Coach P

p.s. This blog post is dedicated to my Grandpa Morgan. His birthday is tomorrow (12/23) and He's celebrating it with the Lord Above! I hope he's riding the most Beautiful Appaloosa that God has ever created! 

Charles Richard Morgan

Bro, Do You Even Lift?

You may or may not have heard this phrase: "Bro, do you even lift?"

It has become a funny punch line, inspired comical YouTube videos, and is even printed on T-shirts.
Basically, it's a way to clown on people that are in good shape, maybe too muscled up, or are "fitness experts." 

I have to admit, I use the line sometimes and always find it funny. Look here, the Governator is even saying it...

Okay, with that being said, this blog post is not about lifting weights at all. Actually it's about lifting people. Not like a male cheerleader, but lifting peoples spirits. 

We are in the Christmas season and it's perfect time to lift peoples spirits. Actually, every time of year is the perfect time to lift peoples spirits. 

You see, we have this incredible power to use our words and actions to lift others. One kind word can change someones day or even life. Your smile might be all the action needed to lift the spirit of someone who feels like no one cares. 

As humans we should always look to encourage and not discourage. We should build people up and not tear them down. We should be on the lookout for ways to lift people with our words and or actions. 

Today, I encourage you to start lifting. Lift people up during the holidays when they might be sad or lonely. Then continue lifting after the holidays and make it a year round practice.

My question for you is this... "Bro, do you even lift?"

* Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. -Proverbs 16:24

God Bless,

Coach P

Do You Have A Creed?

Yeah, I'm sure you get asked that question a lot. No?

Let me clarify for a couple of you right away, I am not talking about Apollo Creed from Rocky or the video game Assassin's Creed. Word association right... I know.

That being said, let's define Creed real quick...

Creed: any system or codification of belief or of opinion

If I'm being totally honest, the word or thought of a creed didn't mean much to me until about six years ago. It's kind of funny how it happened too, I see it as "a God thing." My Dad and I were hanging out and watching Pastor Joel Osteen on TV. If you have watched him or his Dad (John Osteen) start a service, then you know they start with their entire congregation saying a creed. "This is my Bible, I am what it says I am..."

After they finished saying their creed, my Dad says to me "It would be kinda cool to have something like that for your wrestling team." I said "Yes it would" and then the thought passed into the land of lost thoughts. Well, at least it seemed that way until the thought found it's way back into the forefront of my mind about six months later. 

I'm sitting on the couch during Christmas break and typing up the next days wrestling practice. Joel Osteen comes on TV and BAM, the conversation with my Dad popped back up into my head. I grab a notepad start writing. I'd guess it was around 3 minutes later and our team creed was written. 

I AM A SHAWNEE HEIGHTS WRESTLER

STRONGER, FASTER, AND BETTER THAN AVERAGE

TODAY I WILL WORK WITH ALL MY HEART TO IMPROVE AND PERFECT MY SPORT

WHEN I STEP ON THE MAT,

I’LL HOLD NOTHING BACK…HOKA HEY!

I AM A SHAWNEE HEIGHTS WRESTLER

AND THIS IS MY DECREE

TO ALWAYS WAH-SKON

AND TCOB!

Big deal right. Actually Yes, it is kind of a big deal. You see, I feel like the writing of the creed was inspired (credit to God) and it's impact is still ongoing. In the creed I placed our teams core beliefs and values. It is the code our wrestlers live by on and off the mats. We even have our own team song and it's basis comes from our team creed (Listen here). Our wrestlers believe in the words written in that creed and they take a lot of pride in it!

The trickle down effect (in a good way) is taking place....

I walked into the middle school gym a couple of days ago (I teach middle school PE) and two of the middle school wrestlers were singing our high school wrestling song. Inside I did a couple back flips:)! My thought was YES! These young guys know the song, they are singing it, it's in their head. To me, that means "buy in" to our program. Where did that start... with our creed!

Guess what? Creeds aren't just for sports teams. They are for you, me , everyone. If you have a belief system, then you should think about writing and using a creed. I mean, you don't have to make a song or anything, unless you really want to. 

Here is a stolen idea that I use with my children and all my school classes. Get ready for it, wait, wait, this is gonna be epic, it's a creed! I was at a leadership conference and got to listen to a tremendous business leader named Jason Pannell speak. Jason was talking to us and then tells a story about a creed that he says with his children each day before school. So, I wrote it down and again, the thought heads to the land of lost thoughts. A couple days later, BAM... the thought pops into my head. So I decided that I want to write a creed for my children. We will say it before school and before bed. Then I thought, why not use this in school as well. I mean, I am a teacher and want to inspire my students. 

Here is the simple creed I wrote for my own children to say:

I am a Leader

I am a Champion

I am Blessed by God

We say this each night before bed and also every morning before school. Does it matter to my kiddos? The answer can be found in this statement made every time I've tried to sneak out the bedroom without saying the creed with my girls "Dad, we forgot to say the creed." Believe me, I am not allowed to leave the room at bedtime until we have said our creed. 

Here is the simple creed my PE classes say each day before heading to the locker rooms:

I am a Leader

I am a Champion

I am Gifted

Let me tell you, class cannot end until we have said the creed. There have been times I forgot and the students always remind me "Coach, we have to say the creed." Enough said :)

You see, there is power in the written and spoken word. I believe this with my whole heart. That's the importance of a creed. It is your belief written into a few statements that are extremely potent. Take that written word and speak it out loud, then you have something special.

My challenge for you is this, write a creed. Write it for you, your children, your sports team, etc. It can be complex or it can be simplistic. It doesn't matter either way, just write what is on your heart and in your mind. 
Write a creed and then speak it out loud for 30 days. Take this challenge and then let me know how it impacts your life, kids, team, etc. 

I overlooked this simple idea for many years of my life. I'm thankful God has used something so simple as a creed to help change my thoughts and to positively influence so many others. 

p.s. I'm serious, write, speak, and let me know how it goes for you. 

God Bless,

Coach P

The Man in the Mirror!

"There is a four letter word that you'll never see written on a wall in graffiti... WORK!" 

-Coach Martin Parks

Four points about Hard Work

1. You can never get back time! When I was a young man, many former athletes would stop by my house to talk with my dad (who had been their coach). After a good talk, this statement was often made by the former athlete... "I wish I had worked harder when I was playing sports."
My dad would always look at me when they left our house and say "Did you hear that? Don't let that be you son. You can never gain back time. If you don't work hard today, then it's gone. You can never get back that opportunity."

2. You can't lie to the man in the mirror! A few years ago I was talking about sports and hard working athletes with one of my school's principals (Mr. Brad Mickens). He made this statement... "You can't lie to the man in the mirror." 
He was telling me that when he was a coach, he would tell his athletes "Only you know if you worked your hardest today.You can fool your coaches and teammates sometimes, but the mirror never lies. When you look yourself in the eyes, only you know if you worked your hardest, did it with integrity, and left everything you have on the field." 
I have never forgotten that statement and use it with my athletes every year. 

3. The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.- Vince Lombardi
This quote by one of the greatest coaches of all time is so very true. As a long time coach and athlete myself, I have seen this play out time and again. Teams or individuals that have worked their tails off do not quit when the going gets tough. They battle because they have put in work to reach their goals. They have dedicated themselves and invested their heart into their work.
On the other hand, I've seen teams and individuals that cut corners, take the easy way out, and cheat themselves out of working hard. When  things don't go their way, they fold up and quit. Why? It's simple, they have not invested their heart into their training and have not worked hard. 

4. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man. -Colossians 3:23
Hard work has great value and will help you go a long way in life. But, working hard for a greater purpose is even more powerful. When you work with all your heart and you do this for the Lord, then you'll push yourself beyond what your body and mind would normally allow. When you get tired, a signal flashes in your brain and says "You represent God, you are His creation, He has given you great abilities, now use them to glorify Him!"

This scripture can and should apply to every situation in our lives. If we are working on something we love or doing something out of duty, it doesn't matter. Our mindset in all things should be to work hard because we are doing this for God and not just ourselves or someone else. 

Bonus: All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. -Proverbs 14:23

Each of these points can be applied to sports, work, parenting, marriage, etc. 

Apply them to your life and never be afraid of that four letter word not written in graffiti on the walls... WORK!

God Bless,

Coach P

Sports Lesson and it's Life Application Part 2 (Pressure)

If you are reading this, then I assume you are alive. If you are alive, then you know something about feeling pressure. Pressure in sports, pressure at home, pressure on the job, etc. If you have felt pressure or feel it daily, then it might benefit you to look at it from a different perspective. 

In my last blog post I spoke about my philosophy on dealing with nerves and butterflies, which is closely related to pressure (Read it HERE). Before I get into my philosophy on pressure, let's take a close look at one definition of pressure:

Pressure: " A burdensome condition that is hard to bear."

Ouch. That's uncomfortable just in definition alone. None of us want burdens that are hard to bear. But, that's what pressure is and it's not enjoyable. 

Since I coach and also think of myself as an athlete, I will talk about pressure using sports as our prime example.

I am a coaches son, so I know a thing or two about pressure. My dad is not just any coach either, he is a coach that has been inducted into the National Wrestling Hall of Fame. Needless to say, I had a few expectations hanging on me every time I walked onto a wrestling mat. 

Hey, at least I'm not James, Jesus brother. Can you imagine the pressure James felt at a wedding when Jesus wasn't around and the wine ran out? I wonder if his Mom (Mary) was ever like "James, why can't you be more like your brother Jesus?" (Thank You +Michael Jr.  for the material!)

Sorry, I got off track there, back to pressure in sports. Being a coaches son was awesome, but it also brought added pressure (at least in my mind). Really though, all athletes feel pressure when they compete. Wrestling especially brings pressure as it is one on one, under the lights, no place to hide and no one to blame anything on. It's all you out there and that can add a little stress to ones day. 

So, how does one deal with pressure in wrestling? How does one deal with pressure in any sport? Good question and I hope that some of the following information will help enlighten you and change your perspective on pressure (or at least add to it). 

Growing up I attended a lot of football and wrestling practices. Not just the ones I was involved in, but all the practices my dad was running for his teams. This means I got to hear and see a lot of good coaching for a number of years. It never failed that my dad would give his teams the following illustration at least one time per season, sometimes more if needed.

My dad would always say "How many of you guys have played backyard football and made incredible plays? I mean laying out for a catch and palming it with one hand or running and juking the other guy out of his socks!"

Most of the guys on the team would raise their hand and smiles would embrace their faces. Then my dad would ask "Why is it that you can make these incredible plays in backyard football?" 

Silence (crickets chirping)....

"I'll tell you why, because you are relaxed. You are out there having fun and there is no pressure. Since there is no pressure, you open up and really use your athletic ability."

"Now, what if you always played like that? I mean you relaxed, had fun, and really used your athletic ability on Friday night? How good could you be?"

Whew, deep! I mean really think about this and how much truth it contains. This illustration doesn't just apply to football either. I see wrestlers look like a million bucks in practice all the time. They open up, have fun, hit sweet moves, and wrestle awesome! Then they get in a match and the pressure gets to them and they are not so awesome.

What's the point here? Athletes must learn how to control their "Warrior State" when going into competition. In that state they are faster, stronger, and smarter. But, they must also stay relaxed and have fun. In essence...Play backyard football in super speed!

Here is another thought on pressure that two incredible programs use with their athletes... Have Fun and Keep it  Playful! Cael Sanderson and his National Champion Penn State wrestling team use this philosophy in their room. Cael knows a lot about pressure as he is the only NCAA D1 wrestler to ever finish his college career undefeated (that has to be some pressure). He teaches his wrestlers to have fun, keep it playful, and be creative when wrestling. He says that's the best way to handle pressure on the mats. 

The other major program that uses the philosophy of Keep it Playful is the Gracie Academy! The Gracie's are the best Jiu-Jitsu practitioners and instructors in the world. These guys can Take Care of Business in competition, business, and life. But, they always try to keep it playful knowing this eliminates pressure and allows for great performances.

One more thought on dealing with pressure, especially in sports, is this: There is no Pressure! Yep, you heard me right, there is no pressure. This line of thought came from listening to 4 x NCAA Champion Kyle Dake in an interview. He was talking about how he dealt with pressure as an elite college athlete and now as a Team USA Wrestling star. His philosophy, when added to my own, led me to this thought for athletes... At the end of the day, win or lose, your mom and dad will still love you. Your coaches will still be your coaches and care about you. You will still show up on Monday and work your tail off to achieve your goals. So really, there is no pressure. 

What does exist is the hard to bear burden that you place upon yourself because of the wrong perspective. We give this mental burden you place upon yourself a name... Pressure.

Now I want you to think about the sports examples listed above and apply them to your everyday life. Where are the areas you feel pressure? Work, your marriage, raising children, etc. Now what if you applied some of the information presented in this blog post to your own life? How would it help you deal with the burden you are bearing today? 

What if you relax, have fun, and really use your God given abilities? What if you Take Care of Business, but keep it playful in the midst of the process. How would it change your outlook if you realized that whether it's a good day or bad day, your wife, children, and family will still love you? 

Life has plenty of ups and downs and obstacles are thrown into our pathway. These things can sometimes feel overwhelming and create what seems like a ton of pressure. But, the right perspective can relieve those feelings and help you to see the silver lining. This in turn can help you enjoy life and perform your best in sports, work, at home, etc.

Finally and in my mind most important: Never leave God out of the equation! I've heard my Dad and Coach Jody Thompson say this many times and I believe it 100%. All the other ideas work better when God is sought after first!

Jesus said  "My yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light". -Matthew 11:30

God Bless and I hope this helps some of you change your perspective on pressure today! 

TCOB,

Coach P

Sports lesson and its Life Application Part 1 (Butterflies)

Excitement, Nerves, Butterflies! Make it stop, give me more, make it stop, give me more... ahhhh! I don't know if this is horrible or if it's awesome. 

If you have ever competed in a sport, performed in front of people, spoken to a large crowd, or taken part in something really important to you, then you know about that feeling in the pit of your stomach. You know about nerves and those often dreaded butterflies. 

My dad is a National Hall of Fame Wrestling Coach and I have wrestled since I could walk. Overall, I've probably competed in close to 1000 matches when combining Folkstyle wrestling, Freestyle wrestling, and Greco-Roman wrestling. I have also competed in Jiu-Jitsu matches as well. 

Guess What? I was nervous every single time I competed in these matches. You'd think I'd get used to it right? Wrong.

I have been a wrestling coach for 13 years now. 1 year at the college level and 12 years at the high school level. Along with this I have been a middle school football coach for 13 years. Oh, I also corner many Professional MMA fighters (basically the coach in the corner) and a lot of these fights have been on major shows. 

As a coach, I still get nervous and the butterflies start forming a speedway in my stomach when my guys compete. To be honest, it's often worse than when I was competing myself. Actually, it's the reason I decided to write this particular blog post.

What I'm getting at here is the fact that I have competed a lot and been around tons of competition and I still get nervous. Since this is fact, how do I deal with the nerves in competition and how does this apply to everyday real life?

My philosophy on this has been developed over the years and continues to evolve. Many influences have helped to shape and form this philosophy into what it is today. So, let me tell you a couple stories that really stand out in my mind that have helped form my philosophy. 

I was a Senior in high school and warming up for the finals of our home wrestling tournament, The Carmen Classic. While warming-up, wrestling legend and Olympic Champion Doug Blubaugh comes over and places his hands on my shoulders and starts talking to me. Here is how our conversation went down...

Doug: "You Nervous?"
Me: "Yes Sir"
Doug: "Good."

TIMEOUT! 

Here is what is now going through my mind: "Wait what? Good, what does he mean good? Don't nerves show weakness? Nerves mean I'm scared right?" 

Okay, back to the conversation...

Doug: "Nerves mean you care about the sport son. The day you lose those butterflies, it's time to get out. You are nervous because it means something to you and that's good. Let that fuel you."

TIMEOUT! 

MIND BLOWN! 

Okay, back to it. 

This conversation changed my perspective on feeling nervous. I went from having a negative perspective on nerves to realizing that they aren't bad. Nerves mean I care and caring is a good thing in my book.

(Side note: I tech falled my guy in the finals. I mean come on, Doug Blubaugh warmed me up and was sitting next to my Dad in the corner coaching me. That poor kid had no chance against me in that match.)

Here is the next story that helped shape my philosophy about nerves. 

It's 1998, I'm in the semi-finals of a college wrestling tourney and my coach (Hall of Famer Jody Thompson aka Coach T)walks up and hands me a couple jelly beans. "They'll give you some energy, eat 'em." Haha, Coach T always did things like that in serious moments. Then Coach T makes this statement "You know, nerves are a good thing. They are your body's way of preparing for Battle. They make you faster, stronger, and maybe even a little smarter. Nerves are your Warrior instinct kicking into gear.You are a Warrior!"

Wow! What a way to look at nerves! Now those butterflies aren't here to make me feel scared and sick, they are here to make me faster, stronger, and smarter. I'll take it!

The last story is short and these words come from God Himself! 

While reading through the Bible one day, I ran across this Scripture:

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

These words spoke to me and I memorized them that day. I have often called upon these words when feeling nervous and they always calm my spirit. I recited this scripture before many wrestling matches and I recite it today when I feel overwhelmed or nervous about anything.

So, how do these stories and sage advice apply to real life? Good question!

First, let me point out that perspective goes a long way. A change in perspective can turn the seeming bad into good. This can change your life in so many ways, really. 

Second, many of the issues we deal with in sports also apply to life. Let me quote Coach T to make this point. These are a few of the words he sent me in an email as we were talking just last week.

"Having a deep philosophy on dealing with nerves is important. This philosophy is one that will see you through wrestling, coaching, and life.....cause it's all the same.  Everyday life can wear you down....just think of the myriad of things your environment plunks down on you.  

Often we humans just need a little bump up to keep us from drowning in the complications we face."

You see, life is full of moments and situations that can bring on those butterflies. These situations can be good or bad, but either way... they exist. Since this is a fact, then it's a good idea to have the correct perspective in order to deal with them in the proper manner. 

In summation, here is what I believe about nerves and butterflies: They are a good thing and mean that you care. This feeling is your body preparing itself to make you faster, stronger, and smarter when the need is there. Pray when you feel this way and God will give you peace and a calm spirit in the storm!

I hope that someone reads this Blog and these stories, ideas, and philosophy help you as they have helped me! God Bless!

TCOB,

Coach P

Teaching My Children to Pray

I clearly remember as a young man sitting in a Lakota Inipi (Sweat lodge) and hearing my Uncle Tony Killscrow pray these words "God, let me teach my children how to pray."

I'm not 100% certain I knew exactly what Uncle Tony meant at that time. I could however understand the emotion and sincerity with which he said it. Enough that it was impressed upon my heart and etched into my mind. 

As  I've grown older, devoted my life to God, and had children of my own, I've come to understand the meaning of Uncle Tony's prayer. It's not about teaching a certain prayer to your children, "Now I lay me down to sleep", or teaching them a pattern for prayer. Although those things aren't bad to do either. 

It's about teaching your children to speak with God. It's about letting them know that He is closer than a brother and a constant comfort. It's about teaching them to develop a friendship with and pour out their heart to someone that will never leave them.

I believe the prayer Uncle Tony prayed is also about this:

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6

Parents have responsibility to their children. They are to meet the child's physical needs: food, water, shelter, etc. They are also to meet the child's mental/emotional needs: love, affection, affirmation, etc. 

Most good and well meaning parents do the aforementioned activities. But, how many of us parents help meet the child's most important need of all: Spiritual needs? We are Spiritual beings with a physical body. That being said, there is no way we should neglect the responsibility we have as parents to introduce our children to a relationship with God. This relationship is built through prayer. 

So today I say the same prayer as my Uncle Tony Killscrow did so many years ago... "God, let me teach my children how to pray."

What are Your Kids Eating?

Parents, let me encourage you today... Feed your kids well. I didn't say a lot, I said well. 

As most of you know, the percentage of overweight or obese children in America is on the rise. This is happening due to a number of lifestyle factors and I don't want to address them all. I want to address one major area in this blog post, Food!

Take a second to answer the questions below:

Who buys the food in your home? Parents or children
Who makes the choices of what foods are purchased at the store? Parents or children
Who normally prepares the food in your home? Parents or children

There are many areas in life that we have no control. There are also many areas in life that we do have control. I believe it's our responsibility to control what we can and then trust God to help with the rest. Notice I said responsibility, not optional or when we feel like it. 

The food that our kids eat at home is our responsibility as parents. We are the adults and we should be making the choices about what our family is consuming. If we prepare a healthy meal and the kids want junk, sorry kiddos, you eat what we've prepared. I'm old school in this way. You eat what's placed in front of you or you go to bed hungry. Believe me, giving in and feeding kids junk because they are "picky" is not doing them any favors. 

One rule that we follow in our household for the adults and for the children is the 90% rule. We eat healthy 90% of the time. The other 10% allows for a little flexibility and some "cheat foods" like pizza, burgers, or candy (insert whatever junk food you like). Many Americans flip this rule on it's head and eat junk 90% of the time while sprinkling in some "healthy stuff". 

We also try to make healthy meals fun by adding a lot of color (easy to do with fruits and veggies) and creativity. Every meal includes lean protein, good carbs, and good fats. When this becomes the norm for eating at your house, your children enjoy it and gain the health benefits. 

Let me close with this statement: "When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required." Luke 12:48b

Parents, we have been given and entrusted with much when we have children. This means that much is also required from us. Parenting isn't easy and we can't control everything, but we can control some things. Let us step up and take that responsibility seriously. 

Your Body: A High Performance Machine

I see many people worried about the scale and also what they "are not supposed to eat". So, let's address two areas today... the Scale and Nutrition. 

The Scale: Your weight can fluctuate a few pounds up or down each day for many different reasons. The goal for our bodies should not focus on the scale, but rather health and body composition. Let's continue to build muscle and lose fat. Muscle weighs more than fat, so the scale is not always a true indicator of what's going on. If you lose dress sizes, pant sizes, but weigh more or your weight doesn't change... You have added muscle! Congrats!

Nutrition: My motto is "Don't count calories, make your calories count." If you feel you need to monitor calories, that's okay if that works for you. The main thing is to focus on eating good healthy foods, multiple times per day, and watch portion sizes.

Perspective is important when thinking about nutrition. The focus shouldn't be on things like "I can't eat bread" or many other food trends. The focus should be on eating nutrient dense food like lean protein sources, good grains (including bread), fruit, veggies, and Good Fats! Eat the foods you like and figure out how to prepare them in a healthy manner, always being sure to include the categories listed above. This is a lifestyle, not a diet or food fad. 

I want you to view your body as a High Performance Machine. High performance machines run on high quality fuel in order to run at an optimal state! 

Last tip: Add World Class nutrition products like AdvoCare to help you meet your health and fitness goals to the suggestions above. These tips will help your body stay healthy, gain muscle, lose fat, have energy, feel great, and run at an optimal state like a High Performance Machine! 

Ask God Into Everything (Ed Red Eagle Sr. Wisdom)

Former Osage Nation Tribal leader/elder Ed Red Eagle Sr. once told my Dad and me "Ask God into Everything You do".

Uncle Ed Red Eagle Sr. was a Wise and Godly man. He always imparted wisdom into his conversations and never left God out of the mix.

I want you to notice the wording Uncle Ed used when he said " Ask God into EVERYTHING You do".
He didn't say...

"Ask God into Church, but leave him out of work."
"Ask God into Prayer, but leave him out of sports."
"Ask God into some things, a few things, maybe one important thing?"

 Nope, he said Everything. You get the point.

Consider the words in one of my favorite scriptures:  ^"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." -Philippians 4:6

Uncle Ed understood that we as human beings are also Spiritual beings. We are created by God and created to be in relationship with God. There is nothing to Big or to small in our lives to ask God into. That being said, here is something that I believe Uncle Ed knew and was passing on to us in that statement. Prayer is important. 

You see by asking God, we are actually praying. That's what prayer is, a conversation with God. So, when we are asking God into everything, then we are by it's very nature praying about everything. We are asking God to be in the midst of all we have going on and are doing in our lives.

If you ever had the opportunity to listen to Uncle Ed pray... Then you know that he had an intimate relationship with God. You know that he asked God into everything. Ed talked the talk and walked the walk.

I'm not sure who this is for (hopefully for a lot of people), but today I encourage you to consider the wise words of Uncle Ed Red Eagle Sr. and "Ask God into Everything You do".

I-E KA-SHE-NUH E-KI-PSHE KO^-BRA